2009-10-26 - 11:11 a.m.
Sunday:
Laundry? Done.
Tortured by friends? Done.
Gah, I knew that when I went over there that it would be the same old bitches. Same old complaints. Same old inability to see solutions. But I went anyway. Guilted into it. Had successfully avoided contact with the time warp for quite some time.
It's frustrating to me that even though I intellectually know that change is a process and that learning new skills takes time that I don't even see minor changes. We have the same conversations that are based in fantasy and not reality about how life is/should be. Ugh.
It's tiring to have a friend who only presents themselves to the world as a victim. It's also sad because you know that if they just stood up for themselves in a constructive manner and believed in their own abilities, that things would start working out for them in a more positive manner.
A diagnosis is not an excuse. It's a starting point for change. When you finally get that cancer diagnosis, you don't stop and say to yourself - well, that's why I'm tired and that's that. No, you start going to the doctors, you start changing your poor life habits and diet, you start getting treatment. You don't just say - well, it's cancer and let it define you, you fight for your life. The same should be true for mental illness.
The sense of entitlement that I feel coming from this friend has gotten out of control. The only thing that is owed to her, is what she can accomplish. Not what other people have accomplished and she feels she should have. You have to work to get what you need. I'm sorry if your path seems more difficult, but that doesn't mean you don't have to walk down it.
